On the road again

Well I am sorry I have not posted in…a long time. I have been busy 🙂

I just returned a few days ago from a little vacation in the Black Hills of South Dakota. I was visiting my godson who turned 3 weeks old yesterday. He’s so tiny J I love him ^-^ Funny, he’s the only guy (I’m not related to) I’ll say that about and mean it 😛

I must say the bus ride there was fun. Really! The guy who sat next to me has the same sort of humor as I do and was interested in the same movies as I was so we got along really well! Talked the whole way! The bus ride back though…horrible. Had barely slept for 4 days and hadn’t slept –at all- the night before because we had to be up at 3 to get ready, leave at 4, get to bus station at 6:30. Sit for 5 hours next to a fidgety old woman (holy paranoia) who gets worse by the hour because she can’t smoke on the bus. Then when she moved to a new seat after a couple got off, an old guy in front of me pointed towards me when 3 new people got on. They all reeked of smoke.

If you smoke, fine. I don’t care. But when you sit next to me and it’s all I smell for an hour and a half in a cramped bus row and I’m already paranoid, do not expect me to share the armrest with you! Phew! I digress!

Then, in the hills, I realized you can’t run from your problems, but you can let them go. Does that make sense? Let me explain a bit more: For two weeks, I was able to forget abut the people who ruined my days and focus on a baby who expected nothing of me, yet I had an amazing fear of letting him down. I met some incredible people, found some old friends, wasn’t bothered by my family, girl-talked for hours over various cups of coffee, and found a part of myself in a place where I can’t find anything. It was great. Plus, it’s beautiful there. In one of the towns, the hills stack up the sides and trees fill the cracks so it seems like there’s no roads at all! The houses are all crooked and oddly shaped and nothing seems balanced! You lose and gain your balance out there, as if you were out at sea. My favorite part: the town I stayed in is nestled between two mountains (hills?) and the rest of the world is just on the other side of the mountains, but I had little desire to see the other side. The weather was an average of 68 degrees and it seemed like time had froze and there was no season, no time, no problems, no ‘rest of the world’. Exactly what I needed.

Rant much? 😛

It’s my favorite place in the world ^-^ However, I’m worried that if I moved there, I’d never leave, and everything I loved there would eventually lose it’s beauty.

Plus, a bit more about the people I met who I have declared ‘incredible’: None of them were famous, contributors to technology, life-savers, or even donators to charities. None of them had done something that made them incredible. It’s what they survived that I find so admirable. One woman had a daughter two years ago that was still-born. She now has a new son and smiles everyday. One woman suffered through 3 miscarriages until she was blessed with a son. One man had been to jail for 6 months on false charges. Now he works 2 jobs and comes home to a wife and son. Another man was homeless for almost 3 months and now has a good house, wife, and 2 kids. One woman had been in an abusive relationship for 2 years, now re-married with a daughter and another on the way. One man I met had survived having Polio! Plus, most of the people I found incredible (there’s many more) had piercings or tattoos, and were now successful enough in life to be happy (my mom believes people with tattoos or piercings can’t get a job and will end up hobos). The best part: none of them had regrets. Sure, their predicaments were horrible. However, they had all survived, and were happy today.

Which, I believe, should remind us all, that we can survive anything. We just have to be willing to fight because of course, it won’t be easy.

Makes me smile knowing I’ll find happiness one day, as will everyone else. Life is unfair, but sooner or later, we all find the happiness we deserve.

Update on my parent problems…thing’s aren’t better. I leave for Texas in less than a week (I’m not even unpacking while I’m home) and I’ll have to face what I’ve been dreading for weeks:

1. Lying to the smiling faces of my loving step mom and stepsiblings knowing sooner or later, they’re going to be hurt and I’ll feel guilty no matter what.

2. Listening to my father’s family coach me on how I should be living my life, starting with what college to go to and how I need to get rid of my labret and industrial piercings.

3. Looking at my grandmother’s fresh grave wondering what her fiery spirit would say if she knew what was going on.

And I’ve decided…I’m just going to have to tell my parents I’m staying out of their relationship. I’m not for it, not (completely) against it. I want them both to be happy. So whatever happens, happens. And I don’t want their decision to be made because of me. They have to be the adults and make this decision themselves. Then, I’ll adjust to whatever changes are made. One day, this will all be a memory and  a few blog entries.

I can survive this 🙂

 I’ll post more tomorrow. I’ve got 2 other blogs to post on and 13 other blogs to read. A lot happens when I run away for 2 weeks!


Hope all is well for everyone 🙂


~ by sider13 on June 23, 2011.

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