I won’t Waste my Time

Okay. So I realized that if I reposted everything that’s happened in the past two months…it’ll be a big ol’ post that probably less than 5 people will ever read. So, as things reoccur, i’ll just post them and update then…if that makes sense?

So this post is about relationships. Ew.

For a month and a half  I was dating Jesse. He thought we were perfect but I was becoming really unhappy..and so was he, but he didn’t think it was because of me. After horrible days of unhappiness and confiding into a few of my friends, I called him one night. He was telling me he was depressed and wanted to know we could still be together…when I broke up with him. It may not have been THE BEST thing to do but I wasn’t going to put myself through hell just to keep him from crying.

It’s now a few weeks later…he openly tells me he still cares about me and can’t stop thinking about me. But for some reason…one of my friends, H, texts him. He is telling her the same crap that he fed me to start liking him…I feel stupid and foolish. But mainly, I feel betrayed. H knew what hell i went through with Jesse and she admits that she doesn’t like texting him…but it continues. And H knows that I don’t like her texting him…I am predicting a horrible outcome if she does. But maybe the horrible outcome is already here. And I just don’t know what to do. Luckily I have real friends who offer advice. I tried to get advice from my mom but I ended up leaving for a while.

So now, as H tries to invade my hiding spot in school where I blog, I realize I don’t want to assiciate with her if all I’m getting out of this is drama  (I WOULD like to go into all that but I’m not going to) slicing years off of my life. I’m just going to focus on school, my future education plans, writing, my real friends,  and music.

I don’t wanna handle anymore. Selfish? Immature? I don’t care. I wanna be happy.

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~ by sider13 on February 15, 2011.

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