I Would Wait but I Wont

Where does time go? Our days are composed of 24 hours…that’s a lot of minutes! Becuase my math skills are so terrible and I fail at using the thing called a calculator, I will not try to look smart and put the exact amount of minutes. But it’s a lot. However, despite the great amount, I often feel like I have no time left in my day. I sleep, have school, an hour on the way home from school to sleep and relax the mind a bit, get home 4:30 to 5 and regenerate, clean, supper, and homework. My free time in the evening begins often around 8 to 9 in the evening. Being that I need to be asleep around 12, I get 3-4 hours of free time. With my senior project needing research, my art piece to be completed, and my nanowrimo story to be written, my progress isn’t great. I considered giving up sleep, but I’ve done that before and the consequences were horrible. I went kind of crazy, slept through class and was caught, and got behind on school work. I also began seeing things (honestly). I’d see a tarantula on the floor, a person in the corner, soemthing moving off to the side…but really none of that was real. So missing sleep is out of the question…as is skipping school. So I may have to skip my regnerating time for more time x_x What I would give for a time-turner >.>

And I’ve been thinking…I am like a rock. I’m not really going forward, not going backwards. I’m just sitting here, barely moving. If I don’t get up and make an effort to change things, how on earth am I supposed to expect or hope things will get better? I once thought finding some something (idk what, I was a silly sophmore {after i was a friggen freshman :P}) would make everything better. I would wait to find out what I thought that some soemthing would be, be it perfection, happiness, etc. I would wait…but I wont. I don’t have the patience anymore to wait for the uncertain. I’ve got to get out and find it myself. I’m tired of being a rock.

ANYWAYS…I read an article by Cop’s Wife from Nerdy Apple Bottom titled My Son Is Gay. Great article, and served (I hope) as a wake up call to some people. My favorite line from the article (I’ll remember it for years, I just know it) “A child shouldn’t have to be brave on Halloween”. She’s correct. With my “unique” DX and “different” fashions and cosmetic designs (I’d post them but I’m unable to right now, sorry D:) I’ve had that “be brave…be brave” thought many times. It’s difficult for a teenager to do that every day, but I can’t imagine how big of a backbone that 5-year-old had to find for one night. He and his parents deserve an award for going through with the costume. And anyways, he pulled off a great Daphne 🙂

Oh! I heard something the other day that annoyed me >.< A girl (junior but almost 18) may be pregnant and a friend of mine felt sorry for her because she was hungry. I’m sorry but a teen pregnancy isn’t a disease, it’s a decision. It took two to tango and it was her choice to risk a life being created. The only thing I’m going to feel sorry for is that child. I wish it luck in the future.

Well I have a free class period for once because a teacher’s grading papers so I’m giong to attempt to get some work done. Wish me luck!!

I started my hair on fire today. Smells really bad DX


~ by sider13 on November 5, 2010.

One Response to “I Would Wait but I Wont”

  1. You started your hair on fire?! yesh, it smells really bad though.
    Oh, yeah, I remember your hallucinations. When was that again?? LAst year or in summer?
    I know what you mean with time and no thaving enough. I’m always hanging out with Adam, putting aside the things I need/want to get done, then I get home and only have time to shower and dry my hair, etc. then its beddybye time.
    I just have this habit of needing to do some things by myself, that I cant do while Im around him. Its weird. o.e
    But hopefully, you find more time! Just wait till the holidays come, you can come over to my house like we did last year. ^__^ that was so fun, and Im really looking forward to it.

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